It’s the first Wednesday of the month, which means it’s time for the Insecure Writer’s Support Group. The IWSG is the brainchild of Ninja Captain, Alex J. Cavanaugh. If you haven’t already, stop by and see what it’s all about!
So, I didn’t realize today is the first Wednesday of the month until yesterday. I, for some reason, had it in my head that May 1st is on a Monday. I’ve been telling people things (times and days for scheduled appointments, etc) based on this belief. I was super shocked when I looked at the calendar yesterday and discovered I was wrong.
I’ve got some major insecurities this month, but they have only partially to do with my writing. My insecurity is in time: How much there really is and how little of it I seem to have. In April, I started off thinking I would have all the rewrites on The Gifted done. By mid-April I panicked. And now, I’m no where near finished. In fact. In all of April, I got only 10,000 words written total.
I seem to have trouble keeping goals. I have all the time in the world, and yet it gets away from me. It’s not even the internet distracting me all the time. I’m on the internet as much as I was when I wrote The Changeling for NaNoWriMo – a few times throughout the day for a few minutes. Not exactly time consuming.
I think the problem is that I’ve let my writerly boundaries fall away. If I’m at the computer writing, I still allow myself to be distracted by honey-dos and mommy-dos. I didn’t use to do that. During the day, I can’t very well ignore my son. It’s just me and him. When my daughter gets home from school, I help her do her homework and get supper going. Then it’s bathtime and bedtime and then I’m so exhausted my brain shuts down before it ever really had a chance to get going.
The crazy thing is, when it’s time for me to go to bed, I will lay there and come up with some amazing ideas on how to fix certain things in The Gifted or a great plot point in my next WIP. It’s the hours when I HAVE to sleep that my brain is most active. If I could, that would be the most oportune time to get things done. Unfortunately, I am a woman with responsibilities (read: children) and therefore cannot stay up all night writing. If I were superwoman and didn’t need sleep, there wouldn’t be a problem.
Now I’m worried that I will not get The Gifted done anytime soon. I can’t explain enough how much this sucks. How much I HATE not getting words written.
I think it’s time to explain to the family how much Mommy CANNOT be disturbed at certain times. Maybe then my Time Suck would dwindle.
Here’s to hoping I can get these rewrites done in May!